8lue's Writing
Guardian Angel - Chap. 10 [Fin]

Fandom: Homestuck
Characters: Sollux Captor, Karkat Vantas, Zohann Vantor
Pairing: Solkat
Summary: It’s been 4 sweeps since he was killed, and you were here, raising this brat on your own. Time sure have changed.
Warnings: Sadstuck, AU
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7] [Part 8] [Part 9]

A/N: Well hot damn, look at this. Finally finished my first multi-chapter fic. :’) ‘S been one hell of a road and goodness the feedback I’ve gotten on it is absolutely incredible. There’ve been a few times where I’ve almost abandoned this, like I do everything else I start writing.. but I had something I needed to do with this.

All in all, this entire series, all of Guardian Angel, was written for this guy. For being there for me all the time, giving me inspiration, being one of the greatest people in my life. Oh and for being the Sollux to my Karkat and basically bringing forth the cuteness that is Zohann. Thank you, sweetie. <3

Er- without further delay, here’s the final chapter of Guardian Angel. :)

——

“No.”

The single word echoed in your think pan over, and over, and over again. You didn’t want to believe that’s what you just heard, you didn’t trust your hearing for once. It must’ve been the voices that were saying that. Of course, they had been extremely quiet as of late, but they could’ve come back now, when you finally had a thought that you might be happy again. They usually liked to do that, to fuck you over whenever you had a good day or some shit like that.

The look that Karkat was giving you though, it was one where you knew that he had said something he might regret later. It cleared the air, and almost made you flip your shit.

What? Karkat, why? Why would you say no? You can’t leave now.” You quickly force out, not wanting your voice to fail on it. You didn’t trust it, you didn’t trust much of anything right now. Not with your, back from the dead, matesprit saying that he can’t be with you and your wriggler. He was going to leave, and things were supposed to go right back to the usual routine of just you and Zohann. It was like a stab to the heart that you didn’t want to believe was real.

Zohann detaches himself from the troll, moving and making his way to stand by your side, looking up at you and fuck why does he have to look so much like Karkat?

“I can’t stay. Sollux, I’m dead. Well, partially, even though.. I’m god tier.” Karkat was almost muttering by the time he finished his thought and you hoped to whatever god there was that he was seeing how stupid he was being. Who cares if he was god tier? He could go right ahead and change his clothes and go back to living his old life with you and Zohann. He was given a second chance! Why in the hell would he say no to that?

“So what?! You’re here now. You’re real, I can see you, I can touch you, fuck, I can smell you. You’re real, alive, and yet you’re saying that you can’t stay with the two trolls that want you the most? You cannot be serious, kk.” Right, maybe bringing back the ol’ nickname will convince him to stay.

“You know, even in death, I’m still a shitfucking mutant. I can’t be seen, I can’t. I don’t have any wings, I still have this ugly, horrendous blood flowing through my veins. It’s better if I’m in the shadows, watching you guys, making sure that nothing happens to you. I wasn’t able to stop Eridan’s wriggler from hurting you, Zohann, but I was there. I wanted to help, but there was four too many trolls there than I was comfortable with knowing that I was still around.” Karkat rambled, his eyes darting down to the orange blood who had decided that your leg was now the best place to cling to.

He continued on, “If I came back, everyone would start asking questions and think that something was wrong, and I would still be a mutant-“

NO YOU WOULDN’T.” You cut him off with a yell, sick and tired of all the bull shit that he was spouting, and you could feel Zohann jump at the harshness of your voice. All these reasons why he couldn’t stay, and none of them seemed to make any sense. It was almost as if he didn’t want to be with you or Zohann, he wanted to be alone for the rest of, well, forever.

“You listen to me, Karkat Vantas. You’ve been floating along in god tier for how long now? Four sweeps? Have you not seen how much our planet has changed? Do you really think that your red fucking blood matters anymore? No one cares. Karkat, we haven’t cared about your blood colour since the day that we all found out. As for your wings, that doesn’t matter either. Remember when Aradia got god tier? How she was able to fold them flat against her back? Well, if you’re really insecure about not having them, you can always lie to people, tell them that you keep them retracted or some stupid  bullshit like that. I don’t give a flying fuck. You just have to stay.” You have to take a breath in, spilling everything at once and in one go wasn’t the smart idea, but you needed to get your point across to him asap. That way he knew that he was fine, he didn’t need to leave and no one was going to care about such trivial things anymore.

“I can’t-“

“Don’t you say you can’t. You can.” Yellow tears are building in the corners of your eyes, Zohann noticing and hugging onto your leg tightly as he set his eyes on his other dad. “Do you have any idea how much of a hell these past four sweeps have been without you, Karkat? To be honest, after you died, I almost gave up. I was ready to cull myself and find you in a dream bubble. But then..”

You move your hand to rest on Zohann’s head as he looks back up at you. He still looks as cute, perfect and innocent as he did the first day that you got your hands on him. Sure, he still had a lot of growing to do, but you were almost positive that he was going to turn out alright. He’d turn out even better… if he had Karkat in his life, to teach him how to protect himself with his fists.

“This little brat changed everything. That first night, after I got him, I broke down. I looked at him, and I saw you, I didn’t think I had it in me to bring him up. I thought for sure that I was going to royally fuck up, and he would turn out to be a type of troll that I wasn’t proud of. After a while though, it was easier albeit, it was still hard knowing that I was going to have to do it on my own the entire time he was growing up. You’ve missed so much of his life, so much that you haven’t been there to experience. I don’t care if you were watching in the background, that is not the same as being there and living it.”

It’s his turn to interject, and he’s shaking his head, still fighting against everything that you’re saying. “Exactly. I’ve already missed so much, so there’s no point in trying to butt in now. That would be a completely assholish thing of me to do.”

You can’t help but choke out a small laugh, “You’re being an asshole right now by trying to abandon us! I never knew how cowardly and selfish you are. But you know something, I can be that way too. Karkat, if I have to keep going, knowing that you’re out there, that I could have you in my arms every night, but I don’t, I think I’ll lose it. More so than I ever have. I can’t stand the thought of not having you with me if you’re alive.”

Honesty hour and you, Sollux Captor, are the main fucking attraction. Bearing everything that’s been building up this entire time. Only him, only Karkat, could do this to you, cause your emotions to go spiraling out of control, because now you’re crying and you can’t stop and shit, Zohann’s crying because you’re crying. The whole fucked up family was slowly becoming like some reality show being shown to thousands of trolls, this being the breaking point where the audience has to choose whose side they were on: yours and Zohann’s or Karkat’s.

God, you hoped they were on your side.

But now, Karkat’s not talking, not moving, not doing anything. You can’t read him, you can’t tell what’s going through his head and holy jesus are you scared. What if he simply ignores everything you’ve said? What if he just leaves, hops right out that open window (you have half a mind to close it to make it harder for him) and floats on off like the fucked up little shitstain that he is. You want to say more, having all of these other thoughts swimming around in your head, but you can’t form any words together to properly express what you’re thinking.

He’s still not moving. You’re still standing there, staring at him with a desperate look in your eyes and you don’t even notice when Zohann detaches himself from your leg. The wriggler walked the short distance between the two of you, standing in front of Karkat and looking up at him. Once you notice, you can only imagine what the look on his face must be.

“Karkat Vantas, if you leave your matesprit that you haven’t seen in sweeps then I think you’re going to have your kid as an enemy. That’s just rude.” Zohann states, his hands now on his hips in a defiant way.

For the seriousness of the moment, both you and Karkat break out into a laugh. Just the tone of the brat’s voice, it’s completely different, breaking the tense air that had been looming in the room.

You look at Karkat in time to see a real smile on his lips as he looks down at Zohann, “Well, I wouldn’t want that, would I? I..” You lean forward, hanging onto his every word, wanting to hear exactly what he was going to say next, “I guess I have no choice but to stay then. If my own kid hates me th-oof!”

You didn’t let him finish before maneuvering around Zohann, throwing all of your weight against Karkat and hugging him tightly, more tears cascading down your cheeks. A huge weight had been lifted off you chest, and now your emotions were getting the best of you and you couldn’t care less.

Of course, all it took was Zohann. It just took that kid saying something to him, wanting him to stay. You’d have to do something nice for him, maybe build him a new husktop or show him how to build his own as a way to say thanks. For making the only other troll on Alternia that could make you happy stay.

“Thank you. Kk, thank you so much.”

He shifts awkwardly, attempting to now hold both you and Zohann (who decided that he needed to be a part of this ‘family’ hug), “You’re welcome, nookwiff. And.. I’m sorry. Sorry I was so difficult and stupid as I always am. I seriously don’t see how you’re putting up with me even after all this ti-“

“Shut up and kiss me.”

All too quickly he obliged, leaning up to meld his lips with yours, attempting to get as close as possible and completely disregarding the fact that there was still another troll in the room.

“Oh GROSS.”